Talking to Strangers

Meeting a stranger creates, in me, a strange fiction.

People are remarkably accurate at guessing the characteristics of a stranger from the briefest moments of exposure (known as "thin slices" in this area of person-perception research).  These "thin slices" of behavior can be as short as five seconds, thirty seconds, or a few minutes.  We can read the warmth of a person, neuroticism, even sexual orientation, almost automatically.

Yet, people have a way of surprising us. That best friend you've had for 20 years?  The one right beside you, patching up scrapes after taking a spill on the street, the one who held your hand when the police came with bad news?  You don't know that friend as well as you think.

Because situations, especially new and frightening situations, can push a person to react very differently.  But isn't that still the friend you know?

When I meet a stranger, I don't always know what part of me will show itself. Will I be brusque and guarded like Mer Pampero?  Free-spirited but increasingly somber like Shanna Tramontane?  Or well-intentioned but ineffective like Dek Sundowner?  Well, it depends...on so many factors.

And there are many situations in our lives in which we meet someone for just three minutes or fewer.  We never know which impression of ourselves we'll leave behind -- is it the Good Me, or the Bad Me? -- or how others will try to make sense of the way we act.

So yes, that first meeting with a new person brings an unusual tension to the relationship.  When I take you in at first glance, I'll adapt myself a bit to meet you in the middle.  Or maybe I won't, if I'm Mer Pampero that day.

Is my character Dek who he is because of the people he's known?  Do these people bring out something that's already in him?  Or does he mirror, in his behavior or his words, what he thinks they want to see in him?

The better question is, can he do any of that in his current condition?

So, readers...when do I meet you?  And, which version of me do you expect to meet?

Ren D.

The Trouble With Dreams

My novel-in-progress, The Fracture of a Dream, deals heavily with dreams (as you might guess from the title).  Dreams of the subconscious variety, dreams of sleepers, dreams of one's future goals -- all are fair game in my exploration of life and death.

Overall, we consider dreams to be important, necessary.  Mostly a positive concept to strive for.  That's why there are so many motivational graphics about "chasing your dreams" and "it's better to regret something you did than regret never doing it."  (I'm paraphrasing.)

But you know, dreams aren't always a good thing.

So, to stretch your brains today, I'd like you to complete the following sentence and then work it into a dialogue or passage of your own:

The trouble with dreams is _________.

A few ideas of my own:

• The trouble with dreams is you wake up at some point.
• The trouble with dreams is that nightmares are dreams, too.
• The trouble with dreams is not everyone's can come true.
• The trouble with dreams is they don't pay your bills.
• The trouble with dreams is sometimes you can't sleep.
• The trouble with dreams is they don't come true when you're flat on your back, paralyzed with sleep.

What did you come up with?

Rendy

Why "Never Give Up" Is Terrible Advice

​Yes, I'm at it again!

I'm still working on The Fracture of a Dream, so I thought I'd try Camp NaNoWriMo once more as an extra incentive to write every day.​  April's Camp NaNoWriMo was a massive failure for me, and I like to try again and again until I succeed.

Hmm...that must be why I spent my lunch hour playing backgammon until I won.​

(Note: Psychologically, perseverance is not always a good thing.  It's important to know when to cut your losses and give up.  If you're unrealistic in your level of control, i.e., you think you have control over things you do not​ control, you're more likely to persist even when others would have stopped trying.)

​We see this often in our everyday lives, with bad situations that we simply can't change, with jobs that must be done, with people who come into a relationship with their own motives, quirks, and emotional baggage.  Sometimes, we have to make the best of it.  Sometimes, we need to know enough to just leave.

​Keep this little tidbit about perseverance in mind as you read about Dek Sundowner and his adventures.  When should he give up?  When should he keep trying?

And how might this change how his story ends?​

Stay focused (unless you think it's time to give up?),​

Ren D.​

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